Now, I know that Jared Leto had acted nobly in throwing me out of harm's way and whatnot, but that didn't change the fact he got me killed. I stomped up to him and started punching every inch of his body i could get my hands on.

"What's your problem?!"

"You got me killed!"

"You tried to pick me up!"

"You would have liked it!"

Jared Leto grabbed my wrists and held them in front of his face.

"I know you're angry but beating me will get you nowhere."

"Well what am I supposed to do?"

"Talk."

This was Janis Joplin, turned around in her seat to look at us.

"Come talk."

I looked at her---she was actually THERE, HER---and back to Jared Leto, who grabbed my arm and dragged me over to the table. She slammed me down in a seat and took one for himself.

A waitress brought us drinks. She didn't card me, but I guess when you're dead and the alcohol is only a dimensional illusion, drinking age doesn't matter.

"To the fallen soldier," said Janis Joplin, raising her glass. We all followed suit mechanically.

"We watched you die," she explained. "Guess who killed ya'll."

Jared Leto growled.

"Take it easy, man," said John Lennon. He adjusted his glasses on his nose and surveyed us. "Take a breather."

"Figuratively," Janis Joplin added, and laughed.

Jared Leto seemed resigned. He drank his hooch and stared at the table, stony-faced.

I wanted answers.

I slammed my hand on the table to get them.

"What's going on here?"

They all looked at me.

"You don't know?" asked John Lennon.

"Who is she?" Janis Joplin inquired.

"She's on the outside," Jared Leto answered both of them. He leaned back in his chair. "I failed and took a civilian with me."

"Huh?" I asked.

"Why was she with you, anyway?"

"Who is she?"

"Is she a hooker?"

They were all looking at me.

"What-is-going-on? Why-did-the-heiress-want-to-kill-you?"

Jared Leto prepped himself for explaining.

"You know how, a lot fo the time, in Hollywood, and...certain stars just hate each other?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, you know how they form factions and secret societies and have their own police force and judicial board?"

"No."

"We've got to explain some stuff to her first."

Allow me to explain dying.

First, there's a deafening roar, then rushing water, then gentle silence. The feeling of your soul leaving your body is one of complete and total freedom. For awhile there's nothing, but then you get pulled back into form and being again, but it doesn't carry the same weight as flesh and blood being.

 When I dropped back into form, I was standing in the expansive wings of a giant stage. People scurried here and there, mostly groupies. But there were a couple faces that were actually familiar.

 Janis Joplin and John Lennon were sharing a table in the wings over drinks. Even though I knew I would be uncool in the afterlife, I decided to go and introduce myself, as long as I was here.

 And then I saw him, looking frantic and for someone from his own generation; my never-quite-was-john, Jared Leto.

Jared Leto was not the kind of john I would usually pick up. He wasn't a john for anybody at all. He was just standing in the alleyway, trying casually to look this way and that. He shook his head at me.

"Move on, sweetheart."

"But you're all alone..."

"Leave..."

"I haven't eaten in three days!"

He stared at me for a moment, then sighed and reached in his coat for his wallet. Before he could get any money out, we heard footsteps coming down the alleyway.

"Jack?" Jared Leto asked.

"No."

Jared Leto's eyes widened, and he stumbled backward, throwing me on the ground behind him.

"Who's she?" This voice was a woman's, strangely familiar.

"She's nobody. Leave her alone."

"No witnesses."

"She's a NOBODY!"

Jared Leto took a pistol from his jacket, and there was a bang, but it was Jared Leto who gave an angry cry and dropped down on his knees. He didn't get a chance to raise his weapon again before another rang out, and he landed on the pavement beside me, skull cracked.

The woman who had shot him walked forward, high heels clomping on the pavement. I pulled myself up to try and look at her, but she kicked me in the jaw and sent me sprawling.

I realized who it was the instant the bullet crashed into my skull, sending bone and brains all over the alleyway. There were two women. They were talking while snapping their gum. After the last gunshot but before the roaring silence, one of them said into the darkness; "we actually killed them. That's hot."

_{^{There are lots of different ideas about what Heaven is like. Some people believe in fluffy clouds and harps, some in love-making on satin sheets with young beautiful virgins, some in frolicking in endless summer fields until they return to Earth and the living once more.}}